Let's have a quick look at some of the issues

 Those decisions

 Decisions, decisions, decisions ……. So much pressure, so much stress, and so many people awaiting your decisions – yes, it will be such a relief to live a life where you are not bomdarded by the pressure of decisions – and the consequences of those decisions. So wonderful to have the comfort of a life of ease where the only nagging question in your head is what to have for breakfast, or what time to tee-off.

Oh, if only it were as simple as that.

For years the annual holiday has provided respite from the pressure of decision making, and has been enjoyed all the more because of that respite. Two weeks of bliss, two weeks of relaxation, of doing things just for you. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the whole of life could be like that? Of course it cannot – apart from the financial implications of living the high life full time in the tropical paradise, or that beautiful mountain resort – there are other realities to deal with. The relief from the pressures of decision-making is, indeed, great on holiday. That’s actually what holidays are for – to re-invigorate you, to revitalise you and strengthen you for the return to the fray. But what happens when you only have to return ‘home’ to the routine that has to be. No decisions to make, no pressure, no worrying about the consequences. Who actually cares what you have for breakfast? Who cares what clothes you choose to wear today? Does it matter what time you tee-off?

 One day your decisions matter, their consequences affect others, they influence. The next they are almost an irrelevance to all except you and your immediate family/partner. This is not to minimise the importance of your decisions post work, but it is vital that you recognise the differences that have entered your life – your new life. Of course the decisions you make are important to you – it actually does matter what you have for breakfast, and it certainly matters what clothes you choose to wear. The big difference is that your decisions are no longer of such importance to a wider group of people, colleagues, clients, team members…… and their consequences certainly will probably be minimal. Recognise this, embrace it, nurture it. The decision making skills developed over the work years are now to be put to use just for you – and that is great isn’t it?

  On being Important

 People need to be important to someone. This is a natural human condition. We are not solitary creatures, we need human contact, and we need to give and receive love and recognition. Of course it does not manifest itself in the same way in all people. Some get all the recognition they need from their families, some crave fame and adulation from almost everyone. Some – maybe fortunate – people get all they need  from themselves, and the solitary life is the preferred one for them. Most people, however, are a mix of these.

 For most retirees the transition from work to no-work is one which is also a transition from being important to being less important in a huge part of their lives. Whatever the job, the role, the position on ‘the ladder’, everyone is important to someone in the work place. Team-mates, subordinates, bosses, all have a place in the complex web which is the reality of successful organisations, and all in the organisation have a role to play. Organisations which don’t recognise this and nurture it, valuing the whole of their work force, are doomed to eventual failure. So, wherever you figure in this work web you are important, and for many people this importance is satisfying to them – even more than salary (much research has identified this to be so in successful organisations).

When you leave the organisation, however, you lose this. The organisation carries on, and no matter how indispensable you believed yourself to be you will soon become ‘yesterdays person’. Not loved less because of the leaving, not forgotten, but the fact is that the organisation and the people in it have to carry on without you – and they do.

Your life now is not within the organisation, it is outside of it. Dealing with that fact can be difficult. Even if social contacts are maintained with former work colleagues, they will be of  a different nature. No longer will work be a major topic of conversation, you have little to contribute anymore – and less as time goes on. The plus of this is that relationships maintained with ex-colleagues who are still with the organisation will be based on true friendship, because the common bond of work is no longer a link.So if you are not important to the organisation, and to the people within the organisation, who are you important to? ……. And does it matter?

It does matter, and it needs some recognition and thought on your part. Who do you want to be important to, and how can you nurture this? Family? Friends? Yourself?What are you going to do to celebrate this, enhance it, and consolidate it. Work is no longer the centre of your life, it will not give you what you need to satisfy the desire for recognition and status. You have to create that yourself – in your new life.

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